So I haven’t blogged in over 2 months I believe. I have a shit ton that I’d like to say. A lot of good has happened, but a lot of total poop has gone on, too. Let’s break it down.

School has just been all balls. I’m still not exactly learning anything, but it’s been a freaking sweet ride. I love my classes. In Health, we’ve seen magical things like infected vaginas and learned about diabetes. I got to “practice CPR” on an awkward doll with its mouth wide open. O_o I named her Linda. ;) I love my teacher. He’s just an all-around cool guy. History has been rough, since Reconstruction is boring as wiener. (I thought for the longest time that that was spelled weiner but I guess the spell-check overlords are proving me wrong. F.) My teacher is also awesome, even though he put me in the back corner, which I’ve named Eric Island. It’s pretty rad. French is also a lot harder than last year, but it’s sweet, and I love Madame. She’s kickass. English is awesome. My teacher is pretty much the coolest person ever. We have so many inside jokes. He also helps us to actually understand grammar and other stuff. (Vaginas! I still have to actually buy the book for my project that’s due after break!) Band is poop. I really don’t enjoy Concert Band because we play weird music and our stupid freshmen don’t do jack-shit. Well, I shouldn’t say that. Most of our Frosh try to help and play whatever part is assigned to them, but we have two meatheads that freaking eat ham sandwiches and squished berries in a bag while listening to Emo music, wearing dong-crushing pants, and flipping their hair. Pep Band is sweet, but that’s because I play Tenors, which pretty much make me orgasm when I play them because they are awesome. Chemistry is…there. It’s boring and confusing, but my teacher has been really cool lately, so life is good. Choir is fun. Even though I lost the guys’ Baritone Solo TO A GIRL, I’m still having a good time. Math sucks boobs. It’s hardcore boring. My teacher is really nice, but I just can’t stand math. We were supposed to buy graphing calculators at the beginning of the year. They cost around $100. I am poor. I tried to be a good student and buy the $20 version, but it’s different than the “FANCY HIGH POWERED TEXAS INSTRUMENTS VERSION” so naturally I don’t know how in the black hell to use it. We just took a test on this subject which told us to “use our graphing calculators.” F is for Fantastic!

Life is so freaking weird sometimes. No wait, actually all of the time. The week before break had me wanting to punch innocent bystanders in the reproductive organs; everything was just going so very wrong. Then, I found out on Saturday that I had gotten the part of Lumiere in our production of Beauty and the Beast. I pretty much jizzed EVERYWHERE! I am so freaking excited for this show. I love French, singing, and acting, so this is pretty much the perfect part for me. The best part is that I beat out the three seniors who are pretty much AMAZING that also wanted that part. Some people are kind of dookie-ing everywhere because certain people didn’t get certain parts. I feel bad, but it’s kind of nice to see some different people getting bigger roles than the usual actors.

I visited KJ recently. Dear Lord it was SO GREAT to see her. We showed her that we are still the same immature buttfaces that we always were, but we always have so much fun. We got to creep on other teachers at the WOOD, which was fun too.

As I said before, this winter has been great but really shitty at the same time. Everyone is crabby and PMSing hardcore everywhere. Everyone is stuck inside, so we are all forced to sit and bitch at each other. My friends are flipping out now too, so when I’m flipping out at home and flipping out at school, I’m running out of places to turn to. Poop everywhere.

Girls really confuse me. I know, cliché, but seriously. I never know what I am supposed to think. I’ve liked this girl for a long time but didn’t do anything because earlier this year I ended up in some weird triangle that almost got me a vasectomy. Of course, I ended up waiting too long and I think she’s moved on. What’s worse is that I’m not so sure it’s right for me to still think this way. We’ve had some disagreements recently, and I’m afraid for her. Then again, I can’t be an assface and control her life. I don’t know what to do and I really can’t stop thinking about her.

This is really getting old. I am sick of being too poor for driving classes. It’s pretty lame having to ask for rides all of the time, especially now when errbody be spewin’ hate. I have gotten a lot of good driving practice so I feel that I am ready to take the classes, which are apparently a joke anyway and show you slides of mangled car-wreck victims. The classes cost $300. I have $100 saved up. Without a job I’m pretty much up shit creek with no money coming in. I sent in three job applications today with a pretty decent chance of at least getting an interview this time, but hey, it’s not like I’m THE ONLY PERSON looking for a job right now. Do you think that I will get a job over an adult who needs a job to support their family? Hell no, and I understand that. It doesn’t make things any easier, though. Anyway, it’s starting to get pretty freaking old filling out THE SAME DAMN APPLICATION QUESTIONNAIRES EVERY TIME. I just love the questions, too. You know, the “if your coworkers are dumbasses and fail at life, what should you do?” ones. You have to think about what you would ACTUALLY DO and what your employer WANTS YOU TO DO while trying to figure out what it’s actually ASKING. You also feel like a total asshat on the “how would you rank yourself” questions. If you rank yourself low, then it shows a lack of self-esteem and a crappy personality. However, when you constantly rate yourself superior or excellent, you start to feel like an arrogant douchebag. I mean come on, don’t they know by now that every uneducated, slow, arrogant person says that they work quickly and well with others more effectively than their peers with a positive attitude? Jeez.

Well, that was a super rant, but holy balls did it feel GOOD! Well, I’m off. Merry Christmas, everyone! (Ok just kidding here’s another point)

Yeah, I said it. Merry. Christmas. Ok I’m sorry but I believe that we should be allowed to say that to our fellow Americans in stores or on the street or in a single engine plane or wherever the hell you are. If I say Merry Christmas to you and you don’t believe in it, you may smile politely and say that you don’t believe or just walk away. It’s that simple. I’m not saying that whatever you believe in is wrong or that my beliefs are superior. I am merely trying to raise some holiday spirit (sorry, CHRISTMAS CHEER) to make life a little brighter. The haters say that they feel “offended” or whatever. They’re not too offended to take advantage of all of the CHRISTMAS deals and sales, are they? Come on. This is AMERICA. Let’s just be AMERICANS and be civil. If you don’t want to celebrate Christmas, I am fine with that, but don’t go shitting your pants because stores in a country established with customs of celebrating Christmas are celebrating what they are used to. Can’t we all just get along?

Alright, I’m done, and I would just like to say that writing this felt REALLY GOOD and is JUST what I needed. Merry Freaking Christmas.

Pirate

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 Holy balls, it’s been a while. I can make excuses all day about how I was busy and such, but….yeah. Let’s just move right along, shall we?

I got a new haircut, and KJ said she wanted a pic, so here we go:

Drumline practice started the first week of July, which is awesome compared to last year because we started in June last year. That sucked dongs because we didn’t really even get a chance to have a SUMMER! I wasn’t sure how Drumline would work this year because of how much everyone moved around and the addition of the new Frosh. The first day of practice, one freshman quit, and the other one hasn’t shown up yet. It’s really weird being a Snare, since I played Tenors last year. I’m having a blast, though. I’ve improved A LOT and I’m happy about that. It’s nice to not suck unbelievably hard at something for once! J

This summer has been great in terms of being with friends, but HOLY CRAP the weather has been poopy. I figured, “Ok, I have a month off from band where I can actually have a life. Imma go swimmin’ ‘erryday.” Just kidding. The weather is all cold and October-ish. WTF, Mate? I WANT TO GET TAN. When it’s not raining, it’s too cold. Because of the weather’s suckage, I’ve been cooped up in my house a lot this summer, which sucks incredibly hard. Now I love me some INTERWEBZ, but there’s only so much Wikipedia you can creep upon before you go insane. I have to say, though, that I’ve had a great time with my friends despite the weather. It’s almost like the golden days of a few summers ago, where I was like NEVER HOME because of how much time I spent outside with my friends.

I love Facebook. It’s a great tool to keep in touch with friends. The awesome people who run it even run the site in PIRATE LANGAUGE, meaning you can configure the settings to make Facebook talk like a Pirate. It’s freakin’ amazing. However, it becomes addicting after one too many days a-creepin’, and pretty soon you need rehab to tear yourself away from the computer. I am ashamed to think of how much time I’ve spent on Facebook lately, creeping on my friends, their pictures, my friends’ friends and THEIR pictures…Oh lawdy. It’s even worse now because I have a routine of who I creep on. I NEED SUMMER WEATHER TO KEEP ME OUTTA THIS DAMN COMPUTER ROOM!!!

This summer, I came across a young actor playing the part of a disturbed child on the Fox show Mental by the name of Billy Unger. He is pretty much amazing. I’ve seen a bunch of his other roles, and he’s definitely got talent. I bet that he’s gonna be a pretty big star some day. It’s not like many people actually READ this blog, but if you do, you should look him up.

The beginning of this summer was tons of fun, with friends all chillin’ together pretty much everyday. Then, my girlfriend and I broke up, and everyone was kinda antisocial for a while. I felt kinda inept and useless for a while, for that reason and many other reasons as well. It took some time, but I’m over it and all is well. We are staying close friends, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Another poopy thing about this summer was getting Swimmer’s Ear. Sweet Baby Jesus, it is NOT FUN. I didn’t sleep through the night for like 3 nights because of the pulsating pain in my ears, which left me EVEN MORE uncoordinated and gave me a splitting headache right in the middle. Stupid pool water not exiting my head. :-\

There’s been tons of hubbub lately surrounding Michael Jackson’s death. It really made me sad. When I was younger, MJ’s trials started becoming a big part of the media and it was the cool and funny thing to do to make MJ jokes. Everything on Ebaum’s World (blast from the past, right?) and YouTube was bashing him and calling him a molester. The whole school just joked about him and insulted him relentlessly. It’s a real damn shame that it took his death to make me see how unfair I was. The poor man had a terrible childhood, filled with beatings from his meathead of a father, incredible pressure to be the best, and not much of a chance to actually HAVE A CHILDHOOD. The man grew up trying to relieve his childhood through other kids and tried to help them experience the happiness that he never could. He did truly wonderful things for our youth, and everyone else as well. He was a fantastic entertainer, and influenced the music and media incredibly. His songs are still classic and magnificent to this day, and I consider Thriller to be one of the best songs of all time. In the end, I feel terrible about how MJ’s live drew to a close. I really hate how unfair I was to him, and I hope that he is having a much better life in heaven. The man definitely had problems, one can’t argue that. He made some very strange decisions and changed his appearance to something RADICALLY different and stranger than before. He was a nice looking man and didn’t need to change a thing, but his insecurities fueled that fire, I guess. We all have lost a great talent, and we should really be respectful to a man who gave us so much. Once that respect is paid, leave him alone. I am sick of unnecessary media coverage trying to dig stupid shit up on him after he’s been dead for a while now. Let’s let a great man rest in peace, shall we?

I recently saw Transformers 2 with some friends. It’s awesome and funnier than the first one. Megan Fox is sexy as all hell; I’d tap that. ;D

A couple of weeks ago, my Great Aunt passed away. She had been sick for a long time, but a recent combination of ailments and sicknesses really kept her down. She even told us that she didn’t want to live anymore and that she was done fighting. She was a fantastic woman who would do anything for everyone. She was very religious and always did her best to treat everyone as kindly as possible. We will all miss her very much and I know that I will be with her again in Heaven, once I get there.

I got my temps early this summer (finally!), so I CAN DRIVE NOW!!! Wooooo!!!!! It can be VERY nerve-racking, but also very fun. My parents have been very good teachers to me, and are very patient. They weren’t too happy with me one time, though, because I flipped off some rich, impatient asshole who was giving me hell because I waited .00009 seconds after the light turned green to accelerate. O It’s very empowering to drive, but I still need A LOT of practice before I can actually become a decent driver.

Awhile ago, my family and I were relaxing at home in the evening, when our doorbell starting ringing like 400 million times. After we got my dog chill the flip out, we found a very distraught 5 year old boy on our doorstep. He told us that he had “lost his house.” He was crying and very upset. We calmed him down and asked him his name and what happened. He told us that he was playing at a park with his sister and cousin, when they got into an argument and left. He apparently didn’t catch up in time, and got lost. This kid somehow wandered down 4 or 5 streets from the park, walked almost all the way down our street, and ended up at our house, which wasn’t lit up or unique compared to any other house in the area. I guess that someone up there was watching, because he ended up at the right place at the right time. If he would’ve gone to the wrong house, he could’ve been killed, raped or hurt. I felt like a Guardian Angel. We finally called the Police because the kid didn’t know his address or phone number. They found his dad (who was freaking out and searching for him) and took him home. I don’t know how we attract these circumstances, but I’m glad that I could help! :D

I went to go see the newest Harry Potter last week, and enjoyed it a lot! It was less action-y than the other movies and was quite different from the book, but it provided a lot more back-story and had great visual effects. Being the Harry Potter nerd that I am, I enjoyed it nonetheless.

I’ve been listening to the radio a lot lately, and I heard Black Eyed Peas’ newest song, “I Gotta Feeling.” It sucks. The chorus is terribly repetitive and the rest of the song just sucks hardcore. What happened, guys? Back in ’04, BEP were the SHIT. Every single they put out around that time was GOLD. Recently however, they’ve been putting out these random, crappy songs that don’t flow or even sound good.

Being the total internet nerd that I am, I have some links to share:

ª       First, my favorite band, Bowling for Soup, put out a new video for their new single called “My Wena.” It’s an awesome song that brings out the perverted highschooler in all of us. Check it out.

ª       Second, these videos have been pretty popular on YouTube lately. They are a little brother’s videos of his brother flipping a major shit. I don’t know what the hell’s up with him, but the videos are great and can be found here.

ª       Lastly, I discovered the website www.mylifeisaverage.com. It’s AMAZING. Instead of FMLs, it tells about random, everyday encounters that everyone can relate to and still find hilarious. Check it out.

Band has been awesome the past few days. We’re all having a great time together (nonsexually, of course) and we all know that it’s gonna be a great year.

Well, I’d better go; I have a lot of schoolwork to do over the rest of the summer. This blog wasn’t all that exciting, but there was a lot that I wanted to talk about. I hope the next blog will be full of fun and have that great sarcastic blogging feel. J

Au revoir,

Pirate

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Ok, let’s set one thing straight. When someone doesn’t win against an opponent, they do not “loose,” they LOSE. If someone gets around, they aren’t LOSE. Everyone understand? Ok good, moving on! Well, life’s been rather interesting lately. Band isn’t commencing until July, so I might ACTUALLY have a life for a while, but I’m getting ahead of myself; I haven’t typed up my END-OF-THE-YEAR-BLOG yet! Here we go!

This year was bland. Band was fun, but in terms of what changes I thought would come, I was left feeling rather “meh.” I don’t think that sentence made sense. I actually understood math and science, but history and English were pretty much a joke. There weren’t any real memorable moments that defined the school year, except for the incredible PMS. Everyone’s vaginas were synchronized, even the guys’, which made one big war of bitching. Everyone was hatin’ it up, but there wasn’t even really any drama (okay well there was, but…yeah.) Everyone made sure that they all split up into their little groups and fit in. This year just wasn’t memorable, really. Oh well.

We just finished up our Mini-Band Camp, which is a three day camp where we teach 4-8 year olds about Band and how it “rocks.” We were told by our instructor that we need to tell them that it’s fun and really cool because “they don’t know any better.” Ahahaha. We all had a lot of fun, but we all got some good sleep afterwards. Not with each other, of course. The little kids were really cool. I was the ASSISTANT MUSIC DIRECTOR (woo!) My partner and I had the task of explaining various instruments in band, teaching the fight song, playing with recorders, and marching. Oh my God. They loved drums and liked to hit them REALLY HARD, especially the gong, or the “bong,” as they called it last year! J I sang the fight song so many fricken times it was unbelievable. The sound of 15 recorders playing hot cross buns about 5 times per day for three days was also magnificent. I think we really tired the poor kids out with all of our marching, but they seemed to enjoy it! After all this complaining, you’re probably thinking something like “well then why’d you take on this job, asshole?” I’d just like to say that even with the stuff I complained about, I had A BLAST and those kids were awesome. It’s a rewarding experience and I will keep on teaching next year!

After a long walk, a very in-depth discussion, and a joint decision, I am now a single man.

[Side note] Sometimes I want to stab Internet Explorer in the vagina because it likes to close while I’m in the middle of important business, here meaning checking Facebook.

A couple of days ago we held a surprise going-away party for my friend who has to move back to Alaska. It’s very sad to see her go. We had a bunch of cool surprises waiting for her at the party, had a great time, and shared many wonderful memories. I’m really going to miss her and I wish her the very best of luck.

As is the custom at the end of the year, I’ve been flying all over town going to grad parties. I’ve enjoyed myself every time (non sexually, of course.)

This coming year is going to be very strange. Number one, I was kicked out of my position in drumline, so I play snare drum now. I’ve finally decided that this is a good thing and that I’m gonna make the best of it. There’s a lot of very interesting people coming into band this year and I don’t know how well they will deal with the corruption of becoming a Bando.

Our house has been torn apart for weeks now due to the painting of our walls. It’s SO MUCH FUN.

I am pretty much freaking out right now. Harry Potter 6 is coming out VERY VERY VERY SOON and I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!! The wait is unbearable!

Why do I keep typing one-line paragraphs?

This blog has sucked really hard, and I’m very sorry, but I’m very tired and life has been boring lately.

Until life becomes more interesting,

Pirate

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